3 marketing tips from me, aged 8

All of which have stood the test of time

My career path hasn’t always run smoothly. The 80s were a particularly challenging period. “But that would make you 100!” I hear you say.

Well, I started young. I lived with my family above a village shop, but with only four TV channels, one game of Hungry Hippo and two measly Sindys for company, it was inevitable I’d join my parents on the shop floor at some point.

If I got the sack, I could go across the road to my grandparents’ newsagents (compared with the rest of the country, the 80s were ripe with employment opportunities for me).

But at age 8, I was too short to serve ice creams from behind the counter, so until I grew a bit, I had to think laterally. 

These are the lessons I learned from three attempts to make money from that period, all of which have stood the test of time.

1. Original art work

My younger brother James had already entered into the entrepreneurial spirit of things by showing customers worms from the garden for free. This had a fairly mixed response. I decided I could do better.

I set up a chair and table in the corner of the shop and coloured in cartoon strips from the newspaper, selling them for 2p each.

I was a hit.

It might have been the behind-the-scenes aspect that inspired interest. After all, I was giving people a unique glimpse into the creative process as it unfolded. Or perhaps it was the spectacle of the 80s equivalent of sending children up the chimney that was the draw.

Whether it was pity or intrigue, I sold a good few of these. With this mark-up I’d be able to buy a Sindy horse in about 45 years’ time.

Lesson: People buy people; don’t be afraid to show people the real you

2. The Peg Doll Kit

A year or so later, another craft-based enterprise caught my eye. After buying my own peg doll at a summer fair, I became convinced there were hundreds of girls like me whose lives would be enriched by having one too.

I could make that happen for them. 

To make it even more interesting, I’d provide the individual components so they could create their own personalised version.

And so the Peg Doll Kit was born. 50p gave you one naked peg and one peg-sized outfit with which to construct your very own doll.

Strangely, these kits didn’t exactly fly off the shelves, but I held firm, refusing to believe that there wasn’t at least one other girl like me looking to complete her life with this missing piece. Every day, I’d walk past the basket of optimistically loaded doll packs trying not to check for depleted stock levels.

Eventually, I came home from school to the joyous news that, finally, I’d sold one!

My mind was racing with thoughts of who this other girl was, how she might be enjoying her new product, and what a true kindred spirit she must be.

These questions lingered in the back of my mind for a good few years until eventually my dad broke the news that he’d been the one to make the lone purchase.

Lesson: Don’t assume there’s an audience for your product - do your market research first. 

3. Heat bags

In the days when winters lasted for years, school break times were torture. Unless you managed to convince the girl with the broken leg that you were her best friend and would selflessly spend every break time in doors with her until she got better (thanks Ellie), you were doomed to a winter of chilblains and white fingers that might thaw out by May.

The only other option was to get a coveted place standing under the warm laundry vent, while dodging the occasional pair of pants that would be expelled from the shoot.

Surely we could do better than this? A hot jacket potato in the pocket was one option, but this was the decade of gadgetry and innovation. Of Walkmans, sandwich toasters and microwaves. What about heat bags?! Those little muslin-y type bags of soil-like stuff that would warm up deliciously in your hand once you shook them a bit. They’d last all break time and at least halfway through double maths.

I bought four in bulk for 50p each and sold one for 75p straight away. This was the take-up I’d been looking for! There was only one problem: no one carried cash with them at school, but my buyer said she’d give me the money the following day.

Almost 35 years later and I’m still waiting, Janna.

Lesson: Wait for payment before delivery, or at least take a deposit up front.

It’s funny how these cautionary lessons are as relevant today as they were then. They were an excellent training ground for me.

What were your youthful side hustles – what worked and what didn’t? I’d love to know.

Thanks for reading!

Thanks to everyone who read, liked, commented or shared my piece last week Dogs have never had it so good. I particularly liked Jarrod’s comment: “I want to grow up to be the person my dog thinks I am.” Me too!